it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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