I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
