she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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