I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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