is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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