whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
