I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
