check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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