If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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