There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
