im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
