these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
