So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
