Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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