so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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