I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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