nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize