your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There are leaves in my underwear?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
