she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
