I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
