now i know why i became what i already was.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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