Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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