Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You're like the curious george of whores
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize