butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize