I'm drive I can fine osifer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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