So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
