Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
