when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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