I feel like abortions should bother me more
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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