so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
