Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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