Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
