Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

"it" just moved

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(708): View more from Illinois

We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that

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(240): View more from Maryland

When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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(360): View more from Washington

I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"

(425): View more from Washington

I want to be you.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF

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(269): View more from Michigan

why the hell are you crying over taco bell?

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