Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
