69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
