new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
