Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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