What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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