So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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