Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My feet surprised me
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