i don't like sucking hair
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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