Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
