never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
