I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
