it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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