and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I didn't notice because vodka
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
