There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
