I love black thongs
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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