your parents love me but you hate me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
