We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
