i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
