Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize