I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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