I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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