last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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