THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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