You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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