she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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