The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
